In the style of “The Onion:” Obama’s Controversial Immigration Policy - Obama Builds a “Virtual Fence” - A New Campaign Slogan

Seeking to capitalize on the high unemployment rates that have plagued Obama throughout his presidency, and in an attempt to spin the low job opportunities into something positive, President Obama is now touting the low jobs numbers as a successful and innovative way of solving America’s immigration problems.

Obama’s supporters are citing a recent study which shows that due to reduced job opportunities in the US for such an long period of time, immigration from Mexico has slowed to near zero. For the first time since the Great Depression, immigrants from Mexico have found it more appealing to go back to Mexico to find a job than to stay in the US.

In a press conference this morning, President Obama said:

“Look, are we going to be a country that sees the glass half empty, or the glass half full? Yes, I know a lot of people are out of a job, but lets look at the other side of the coin. America’s illegal immigration problem has been solved!”


Political analysts are unsure how well this strategy will play out in the upcoming election but it is clear that Democratic strategists believe they are playing with a winning hand.

“Republicans are always talking about how to solve America’s immigration problems,” said David Axelrod, “but only President Obama can say he has done something about it. We are not going to run from the our record on job creation, in fact, we are proud that it has helped solve our immigration problems.”

President Obama has resisted building a physical fence between the U.S. and Mexico saying that there are other ways to solve our immigration problems. It appears that in just three short years of his presidency, Obama has found his method and built the most effective “virtual” fence yet seen to solve America’s immigration problems. 

The Obama campaign has been having a difficult time coming up with a slogan for his 2012 presidential run. 

Here are a few possible slogans that the Obama campaign is considering

“No Jobs=No Immigration Problem!” Obama 2012

“Solving American’s Illegal Immigration Problem One Job Loss At a Time” Obama 2012

“President Obama - The only president you can trust to put a fence between the US and Mexico”

****In case you’re not sure, most of the above story is a joke. While it is in fact very true that immigrants are suffering from unemployment in the US and are returning to their home countries in massive numbers to find jobs, Obama has not decided to use the bad economy as a campaign slogan for solving America’s immigration problems. 

However, we believe that Obama should be held accountable for the results of his policies.  It must be said that Obama’s policies in the last three years have led to the worst opportunities for immigrants in modern American history. Americans should be alarmed that immigrants are leaving America because there are better job opportunities for them elsewhere. This is not the America we know and take pride in.

● In fact, most Americans come from relatives who were immigrants themselves. We are a nation of immigrants. Many can remember the stories their parents told them about how their family came to America seeking a better life. These stories have been a point of pride and accomplishment told by immigrants since America’s founding. It is a sad day for America when Obama’s economy has damaged the ability for the new generation of immigrants to create their own story of coming to America and living the American Dream. 

Unbiased economists agree that if you look at history, three years is normally plenty of time to recover from a recession. Obama has been president for the last three years and still the US economy has not even come close to a full recovery. America should be creating jobs at more than twice the rate it is creating them now. Obama has had his chance. It’s time for a change.

Here is Florida’s Senator Marco Rubio, himself a Hispanic, talking about Hispanics and the economy: