Coulter: Fred Sawyer and Huckabee Finn

It’s Wednesday, which means bath night for my kids. But when they got out the tub I was the one dripping wet… from the rushing deluge of satire and classic Coulter criticism.

Her latest article cuts deep:

Conservatives unhappy with our Republican presidential candidates seem to be drifting aimlessly toward Fred Thompson and Mike Huckabee in the misguided belief that these candidates are more conservative than Rudy Giuliani and Mitt Romney. This is like breaking up with Bobby Brown so you can date Phil Spector.

First she slices away at Huckabee:

On illegal immigration, Huckabee makes George Bush sound like Tom Tancredo. He has compared illegal aliens to slaves brought here in chains from Africa, saying, “I think frankly the Lord is giving us a second chance to do better than we did before.”

(Frankly, I didn’t know that quote) She drives on:

(I just realized why Mike Huckabee can’t run for president as a Democrat — they’ve already got Mike Gravel.)

Then, onto Fred:

In 1999, Sen. Fred Thompson joined legal giants like Sens. Jim Jeffords, Olympia Snowe and Susan Collins to vote against removing Bill Clinton from office for obstruction of justice.

Thompson, whom President Nixon once called “dumb as hell,” claimed to have carefully studied the Constitution and determined that obstruction of justice by the president of the United States did not constitute “high crimes and misdemeanors.” He must have been looking at one of those living, breathing Constitutions we’ve heard so much about.

Only a handful of Republicans voted against all law and reason to keep Clinton in office, and only one of them was from Tennessee.

This isn’t the time to be toying with any Republican who had a Clinton in his sights and ended up shooting himself in the foot.

If you’re bored with our top candidates, go see a slasher movie. Don’t take it out on a presidential election.

OK. I was at CPAC when she dropped the “F” bomb on Edwards. I thought it was way overboard but that didn’t seem to stop the book-signing line meandering out the door. If she comes back to CPAC… I think the line will be shorter.

When Gov. Romney was told at the CPAC bloggers table that Coulter had “endorsed” him… he grew a bit uncomfortable in a comical way shrugged his shoulders and said: “well, I guess we welcome everyone.” He got a good laugh.

In my opinion, Coulter is a combination of Jonathan Swift, Chris Rock, Rush Limbaugh and Michael Savage, all wrapped up in one thin blond package. No one can deny her talent for writing but her shock-value comedy overwhelms her articulation of conservative values.